Odd Questions Authors Get...with Funny Answers II

These are inspired by a few questions I've been asked...actually some of them are real...
 Q: I have this great idea. If you write it, I'll split the money with you, 50/50. What do you say?
Answer #1: No.
Answer #2: No. And don't come to my parties anymore.
Answer #3: I'll think about it. What? You're a brain surgeon? Well, is it okay if I perform half a brain surgery on you before we begin? It shouldn't take long.

Q: What's your address? Do you have any children? What are there names?
A: You're scaring me. And I think you meant "their names."

Q: Will an agent steal all of my money?
A: No. In fact an agent will make you more money. But you have to get the right agent. There's an easy formula for figuring out whether an agent is the right one. E=MC2 x .15% x worldwidesales x your talent quotient / the chance of a Hollywood movie - your personality quotient + your agent's personality quotient x luck. Easy to figure out, eh? Oh, but make sure you don't get the wrong agent. A small percentage of agents will take 15% of your life force and use it to feed their gerbils. Good luck!

Q: How long does it take to write a book?
A: 60,000 minutes to start with. That's if you dedicate a minute to each word in the average length book. You also have to dedicate a minute to each sentence. That's another 8333.33 minutes. There's another 65,000 minutes for rewriting each word. Add 2500 minutes for computer malfunctions. Then another 4700 minutes for fretting about characters you're going to kill. And 2700 minutes killing them. Only 250 minutes for crying about them, though. I mean, really they were getting on your nerves. Add in the minute that you hover over your email with the MSS attached before you press send. That's 143484.33 minutes. Or about 59.785 work weeks. Maybe add in about 2467 hours of depression if your book is rejected. Then start all over again.

 Q: Will I make a million dollars if I publish an ebook by myself?
A: Yes. You only have to sell 1 a day for the next 487,804 days. If you sell two a day you'll make the money in half the time.

 Art

Worldwide eRelease of The Haunting of Drang Island

Today is the official re-release of my second novel The Haunting of Drang Island. All three books in the Northern Frights series have been out of print for several years now, so I'm glad to see the second book in the series rise like...uh...like a giant serpent out of the water. It's the story of a teen going on a holiday on Drang Island (near Vancouver Island), meeting a girl, and...well...a horrible haunting occurs (really, folks, the details are too scary to give you, but there are ghosts and apparitions and shades and Icelandic swear words---well, they sound like swear words).The cover is done by the amazingly talented Derek Mah. I really love the feel that he's given this series--scary, but somehow a little humorous. The book is intended for grade four and up and is being released in e-format only.

The Haunting of Drang Island came out in 1998 (that year Saving Private Ryan won the Oscar for best picture and the Detroit Red Wings won the Stanley cup in case you were wondering). As I did with Draugr, I decided to keep the text as original as possible and only fixed a few grammatical mistakes and misspellings of Icelandic names. Just click on this link if you want to see the web page I've put up about the book.

I've priced The Haunting of Drang Island at $2.99.
The last book in the series, The Loki Wolf will roaring to life soon.

Here are the eReader links:
Kindle link (US & Canada)
Kindle link (UK)
All other eReaders.

In the next few weeks the book will also be available at B&N, iBooks, and Kobo.
Thanks for being part of the worldwide release!

Art

P.S. Here's what the covers look like side by side. Doubly frightening!

Cool Hunchback Book Trailer

I was so pleased when Harpercollins sent the link to this. What a great bunch of readers!

Art