Well, last Friday I plopped myself on a plane and ended up in Miami for the Miami Book Fair (actually it was a bit of a longer trip than that, as I first flew to Colorado then on to Miami, but I thought I'd skip telling you every detail...you know what kind of snacks I had, the amount of turbulence, did I fasten my seatbelt, did I read magazines etc..). We landed. I was eager to learn more about Miami (this being my first trip), but was pretty sure I already knew most everything from watching Miami Vice (it's like CSI: Miami, but everyone dresses better) and Dexter. As my cab pulled up to the Hyatt I saw a crowd of people dressed to the max (tuxedo suits, fancy suits, fancy dresses) and thought "I am soooo underdressed for this festival." Turns out they were all people waiting for Donald Trump to arrive. Oh!
The next morning I went to the festival site. It was like going to the future. They even have bus thingys that fly through the air. Or at least drive up above the streets. There were tents, and books, and tents, and people, and corn on the cob and books. Did I mention it was 27 degrees! (err, that's 80 F).
First I had a "speak off" with Al Gore. He talked about Global warming and ways to save the world and I talked about myself. Exciting, eh?
Next I went to the "artist's room" and ate as much dainty food as possible. Then off to my panel on "boys reading." See there really was a panel! It wasn't all an elaborate joke planned by my "friends." I shared the stage with myself, Reade Scott Whinnem, and Frank McKinney. We expertly entertained the audience. First Reade scared the bejickles out of them with his excellent book The Pricker Boy. Then I "steampunked" them with The Hunchback Assignments , then Frank brought them back to reality (well if you consider Megalodons in the present day reality) with Dead Fred, Flying Lunchboxes, and the Good Luck Circle. They were great to do a panel with, but I found myself very jealous of both of them. I mean Reade, how cool is that for a name? It's almost like a command. Reade my book! And Frank looks a little like David Lee Roth. I always wanted to look like David Lee Roth! Anyway this blog isn't about me (wait a sec--maybe it is).
I did get to meet the "Whatcha Reading Now Group!" (this photo and the next one are courtesy of Mark Safra Photography) Do they know how to dress, or what?
Next Frank, Reade, and I signed books. See the lives of superstar authors...aren't they exciting?
I did later get to visit with my fellow author Alex Flinn. Alas, I forgot to get a pic of her. I would "doctor" one, but that would be wrong. Plus there's a rule about only doctoring one photo per blog post. Isn't there? Hey go see Beastly when it comes out as a movie (but Reade the book first, err, I mean read the book first).
After that I saw an angel. I was going to make a joke about this being a photo of my editor, but that would be an obvious attempt to suck up to the higher powers. Though the angel does have a remarkable resemblance to my publicist. Oh, and my mom. And my first grade teacher. And my agent. Really!
The next morning I was on a plane and flew back to the mystical city of Saskatoon (via Chicago). I won't bore you with the details about that, but boy was I ever thankful to have an iPod touch stuffed with a few movies and audiobooks. Whew!
P.S. Frank McKinney is also a superstar Real Estate guy when he's not being a superstar author. Check out this video of him:
Now that I've watched it, I was a little disappointed that he didn't rise from the grave or jump through the air with a motorcycle during the reading. There was probably some kind of "liability insurance" thingy, I bet. People are so sensitive about other people shooting flames from their hands.