Thursday, April 12, 2012

Odd Questions that Authors get...with free hilarious answers: III

AH, more questions that authors get...with perfectly rational answers.

Q: Is it okay if I come to your house and watch you write?
A: Is it okay if I give the FBI your address? By the way I've moved to Antarctica. Turn left when you see the marching penguins and you'll be there. Don't worry about dressing warm.

Q: Are you sensitive to bad reviews?
A: No. No. No. No. No. NO! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!

A: Oh, you're a writer? What do you do as a job?
Q: Writing is easy and doesn't take much time and is really more of a hobby, so I spend the rest of my hours as a serial killer. What's your address again?

Q: What is the most fun about being a writer?
A: I get to wear pajamas all day.
A: My only boss is my muse.
A: Playing jokes on people by naming characters after them. Like my friend Cheryl who complained that I never named any characters after her. So I invented Cheryl the Sasquatch for one of my books (true story).

Q: What is the worst thing about being a writer?
A: I wear pajamas all day. Even to readings.
A: My only boss is my muse but she's seven feet tall and smokes cigars and demands 20,000 words a week and bacon. How much bacon is there in the world?
A: A real Sasquatch showed up one day. Her name was Cheryl. She was not happy that I turned her into a comical character. She was very good at MMSA (Mixed Martial Sasquatch Arts). I was not.


Comically yours,
Art

9 comments:

Michael Seese said...

Good advice. Let me write that down. "Wear pajamas." Got it. "If Sasquatch knocks, don't answer." OK ...

Arthur Slade said...

Yes, never answer the door to Sasquatch. Unless she's carrying a royalty cheque...

Stephen Winterflood said...

Isn't that the most annoying thing when people refer to your writing as your hobby.

I wonder how they would feel if you asked them how their hobby of raising kids, or the hobby of their marriage was going :)

Arthur Slade said...

Or that hobby they have of breathing. : )

Valerie said...

Dear Mr. Slade,

I just wanted to say that you are one of my favourite hobbyists. For sure you are in the top 200. Also, I like bacon too - can you introduce me to Sasquatch Cheryl sometime?

Mahtab said...

Ahhh...great questions and fantastic answers. I must say, Art, you're brilliant at your hobby! How goes it and when do we see you in TO?

Arthur Slade said...

Dear Valerie and Mahtab,

Thank you for your kind words about my hobbies. You should take up the same hobby. I have a feeling you'd be great at it!

Oh, and I will be in TO for the Garden to Trenches conference in May. Not so far away.

Kristene Perron said...

Ha! Love the "pajama" bit. (I am wearing mine right now).

Last January I gave a speech at the Kootenay Literary Competition awards and wore my pajamas, (purple, with penguins), to demonstrate what a writer at work looks like. It has become a running local joke.

Thanks for a good smile! ~ Kristene

Arthur Slade said...

Kristene, you have been a PJ inspiration to everyone!