Wednesday, November 09, 2011

A "Found" Conversation

Here's a conversation I "found" on a bus heading for Toronto. Almost word for word.

(SFX: Cell Phone Ring).
Hello? Oh, yeah. Just riding the bus. Shift coming up.
(Pause) A stabbing. At a school. Been working at it for awhile, was off for a few days, now back on it. Have it all on security camera but no one will talk. Can't get them to. It's like we know you were there we see you on the camera, but they say they don't remember anything.
(Pause) Her? Yeah, she's trying to find a job. I guess. But she sent all the wrong cover letters with her application. I think she's just happy with a few shifts at the centre. And spending all my money. Our last credit card bill  was 3000 dollars. That's why I'm taking the bus. I figure it saves me $250 a month. But she just thinks she can spend that money, too.
(Pause). Out there. That must be nice. No. No holidays coming up. She thinks the parents should come down to babysit while she goes out. That's an hour drive for them and hour back so she can go out for an hour. That doesn't make sense. But I did get to come down and her and I went to a movie but when I came back there was a torn plastic bag on the floor. That stupid dog had been at it. My parents tried to hide all the evidence cause they know that I beat the crap out of it when it does that stuff. But I asked them what happened and they said it got up on the table and found the treat bag and ate all of it, even the bag. It's a stupid dog. How do you fix that? I figure I'll just put mousetraps on the table loaded with those little wieners, that'll show him. He won't go up on the table again.
(pause) Yeah, okay. See ya. (Click SFX).

It's quite the character study. Truth is always stranger than fiction...


Catherine Stine said...

I guess it proves again that you can't make this stuff up, right?

Unknown said...

Yeah, the whole mousetraps thing. Huh? Really... I had to follow him for a bit. He was about six feet tall. Dressed in a blue pinstripe suit with a black toque. Then I thought...I probably shouldn't follow this guy too far...